Love, love, and more love

Dear God,
I confess that I sometimes don't believe You. You see, I get so caught up in me and my what I see with my incredibly nearsighted vision that I forget that You don't always see the way I do. And some days, more than others, my nearsightedness is just really off.

Today is one of those days.

So, instead of ending up way off course because I can't see straight, I'm going to close MY eyes and listen as You tell me what You see.

But now, this is what the LORD says -- he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: "Do not fear for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name , you are mine." (Isaiah 43:1) 

I created your inmost being; I knit you together in your mother's womb. Praise me because YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made. My works are wonderful, and you can know that full well. (Psalm 139:13-14 paraphrase)

Though the mountains  be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed. (Isaiah 54:10)

I love the way the Message puts that verse:

For even if the mountains walk away and the hills fall to pieces, My love won't walk away from you, my commitment of peace won't fall apart." The God who has compassion on you says so. (Isaiah 54:10)

That picture of God never walking away, His love never leaving--it's so valuable to me. I think that one of my biggest fears is that God will look at me, throw up His hands, and walk away...because I'm too much work. But He's not like that. The fact is He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He even loves me a LOT. Oh, did I mention He loves me?

Unlike Katelyn's kind of love which vacillates and teeters depending on the state of her emotions, God's love is unchanging. Micah 7:18-19 are some of the most beautiful verses EVER, in my opinion (I say that about a lot of verses though....)

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. (Micah 7:18-19)

Another favorite:

I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with lovingkindness. (Jeremiah 31:3)

And in the The Message:

God told them, "I've never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love!" (Jeremiah 31:3)

"I've never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love!"
It doesn't get much better than that.

Prayer

God,

It feels so foolish to ask for help, for forgiveness, and a new start. Once again, I've messed up. It seems no matter how hard I try, I always end up in the same predicament. I never get out of this rut...sometimes I make a start, but I always end up back on my face, stuck in the mud. Again.

God, I've been struggling with this for over two years. I just don't know how to get free. I just don't know how to walk in freedom. God, what is it I need to do to no longer be entangled? How do I get out?

Also, I've been thinking about hard hearts. I know that somewhere it talks about wilfull sin and the heart being hardened. What have I been doing but wilfull sin?

I tend to to think that once I mess up I need to do some rigorous discipline to make up for it...but every time I try I end up even worse than I started. God, this is so disheartening. I get discouraged so easily when I live like this. What is it You want for me? How is it You want me to live? And how do I do it?

God, please lead me! Show me the answers and may they permeate my heart. I no longer want head knowledge. I have a lot of that. I want heart knowledge. I want to know Your truth. I want Your truth to change my life.

Hebrews 3:7-8

"Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts."

1 Thessalonians 3:133

"May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones."

Please, Jesus, HELP ME!

Love,

Katelyn