Play Inspirations

So--in a brief respite from my homework--I've decided that I am going to share with you a few inspirational songs. Now, these aren't necessarily spiritually inspirational songs. Rather, these are the songs that I feel like capture some of the characters from my play. I will be posting songs about my four main characters of the play: HOSEA, MER, CHARLES, and SUZANNE. For those of you who don't know, this play is set in the 1920s and is about a pastor, Hosea, and his wife, Mer, who has blemished past. She doesn't fit in with the church she's a part of and no one will let her forget her past. Add to that, family tensions, a busy husband, and an old fling...well, let's just say it's a mess in the making.

Therefore, this first song is a Mer song. Talented and beautiful, she is torn between her commitment to her husband and the charming old friend who has suddenly walked back into her life. A friend of mine showed me this song and I fell in love with it (and the group who performs it). I felt it perfectly captured the heart of Mer. Not gonna lie...I wish I wrote it.

Amazed

Found this blog that I started, but never posted. Thought it really hit the nail on the head:

Tonight I went to the Easter service at Westside. Pastor Ken talked about being amazed. During worship, the Holy Spirit began to highlight some stuff to me. We sang the song, More than Amazing, and the words really hit me.

You walked upon the water
You calmed the raging seas
You command the highest mountain
to fall to its knees....
Forgetting all our sin
You remember Your promises
You are amazing
More than amazing

"Katelyn," He whispered, "gaping at the mountains won't move them. It's only when you--not only look to me--but are amazed by me that the mountains will begin to move."

Then I realized something: saying without conviction, "Yeah...God's big enough" isn't enough for those mountains to move. It's only when I am genuinely, truly, wonderfully amazed at the grandeur of my God that things will begin to change. It's foolish of me to live my life NOT amazed. If I do, I'll be missing the whole point. You see, we cannot truly spend time with the Lord--seeking Him, discovering Him, following Him, worshiping Him--without being amazed. Genuinely being with Jesus always equals amazement. Because when I get a glimpse of who He is, I cannot help but be amazed.

This brings up the somewhat troubling question: if so little of my life is spent in a state of amazement, how little time must I actually be spending with God?

Thoughts?

Okay

Somewhere, in the recesses of my mind, I came up with this idea. Actually, I'm not sure I came up with it, because I'm pretty positive that other people share this idea. A lot of other people, actually. This idea is this: discerning the will of God is very difficult and arduous; it involves much prayer and fasting; and only once you've labored and labored is it possible to know God's will. Think: sackcloth and ashes, weeping, Catholic indulgences, beggars on the side of the road...

Or perhaps, if I beat myself over the head with a book, God will see that I'm serious and listen...

Eh, never mind about that one (now that I think about it, wasn't that from a movie? Hollywood and the way it influences us...)

Back to what I was saying...

What was I saying? Oh yes...

I have this feeling--you know, one of those feelings--that something's not quite right when I don't believe that God will tell me what to do unless I spend hours and hours begging and pleading to hear His voice. Or that I have to forgo food for a month in order to hear Him. It's not that there won't be any work involved in hearing God's voice--prayer and fasting are amazing and invaluable when you need to hear Him and it's imperative that we seek Him. He said, "Seek me with all your heart and I will be found by you." That's not exactly easy. Nevertheless, there's a difference between seeking God and groveling. One's really good; the other...not so much. The problem with this mentality is that it assumes that God doesn't want to speak to me. The reason I have to beg is because I think it's a burden for God to answer.

Wrong.

WRONG.

WRONG!

John 15:16 "You did not choose me, but I CHOSE you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.

The fact is, God wants to share things with me and give me direction: "The Lord confides in those who fear Him" (Psalm 25:14) and "all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be" (Psalm 139:16). He chose me, remember? When I've been pursuing the Lord with my whole heart and there's evidence of fruit in my life, then Jesus promised that "whatever [I] ask in [His] name, the Father will give [me]." Therefore, when I ask for direction and to discern His will, then I can trust that He'll show me.

And when He does, I don't have to freak out and discredit everything He just told me because it's "too easy" and I didn't spend 4 days groveling in the dirt.

Sometimes He says, "go."

And sometimes all I have to say is, "okay."

Images from: Paris Daily Photo and Costume Network Gallery

While I Wait

Heard this song on Pandora. Just thought it fit.

John Waller - While I'm Waiting (Official Music Video) from Provident Label Group on Vimeo.

Rest, Wait, Knock

To make a long story short, I went to Seattle this week because God said, "go." It's kind of been a "knocking on doors" trip, so to speak. I still don't have all the answers I necessarily hoped for, but it's been a pretty amazing trip so far.
I think the thing that the Holy Spirit is most trying to teach me--and I confess, I haven't learned very well--is to rest in Him because He knows what He's doing. I feel as if I have to have every last detail figured out and the fact that the future is a mystery is both overwhelming and frustrating to me. Nevertheless, the future will ALWAYS be a mystery, even if I think I have it all figured out. After all, it's impossible to fully know what tomorrow holds.
So, even though it goes against every natural instinct in me, I am going to rest.
Knock. Wait. Rest.
Rest in the knocking.
Rest in the waiting.
Rest in the unknown.
Rest in the mystery
I'm going to rest in the God who knows what He's doing.

Today

A couple days ago I told some friends that I don't like posting negative things on Facebook very much, so if I'm having a bad day, I'll say something like, "I'm choosing praise today." Then because of my attitude change usually the bad day doesn't end up so bad...
Well, this morning I woke up feeling very melancholy. There are a few reasons for this melancholy feeling which I won't go into (most of which really aren't that big of deal, honestly)...but here's the thing, I really don't want to spend my day feeling melancholy and depressed when I could have a perfectly wonderful day. The fact is, Christ died for days such as these. He died so that I can live victorious every day.
John 10:10 says, "The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but I come that you may have life and life abundant." 
I'm not really into getting stolen from today. I'd much rather have that whole abundant life thing. You see the thief wants to steal from me. He wants to steal my day. My joy. My perspective. My thankfulness. He wants to steal today.
But I begin living the abundant life when I begin living and walking in joy, perspective, thankfulness...no matter what my circumstances are. And that abundant life can begin today.
So today, I'm not saying this simply because I don't want to say something negative. I'm saying it because I mean it.
I choose praise.
Today.