So, I just found this blog that I wrote back in April, on my myspace blog. It really really hit me. I guess sometimes it takes a long time to learn your lesson. :)
From April 7, 2008:
"This past year God has been teaching me a lot about trust. A lot more than I ever really wanted to know, honestly. But it’d be a huge lie to say that I’m not glad He’s taught it to me. Obviously, He always knows best.
However, given the choice, I definately would have opted out of learning it in the ways that I have...and it’s not over yet. For starts, had I known how long it would take me to get a real paying job, I would have cried even more than I have in the past eight months....and I’ve cried a lot. Had I known the heartbreaking emotional roller coaster I would be going on, I don’t know if I could have gone on at all.
This week especially has been stressful--because of money I’m not going to school, the mountain’s closing so I still need a job, one of my best friend’s is walking away from the Lord and is avoiding me, I’m having some health issues--and wondering what my next step is there (nothing huge and dramatic, just enough to cause me stress), I’m unsure whether or not to take a loan to get my wisdom teeth removed, my room is in shambles (I hate disorder), and I’m totally at a loss.
BUT...GOD IS FAITHFUL! AND I AM TOTALLY THANKFUL FOR EVERY SINGLE DETAIL OF MY LIFE EXACTLY AS IT IS RIGHT NOW.
You see, God has taught me a lot about trust. A big part of trust is choosing to rejoice in Him even when we can’t see how He’s working or we don’t feel His "warm fuzzy" presence. God is still God. And I am not.
When I complain, I accuse God of a lot of things. Grumblings accuse God of not taking care of me (which I have done without mincing words, too), of being a liar, of being distant, of screwing up my life...you get the picture
But "God is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man that He should change His mind." (Numbers 23:19)
When I grumble and complain, I forget just exactly who God is. I forget the promises He has given me and I call Him a liar. But, God CANNOT lie.
When I choose to thank Him for every single circumstance, no matter how frustrating, painful, or heartbreaking, I’m acknowledging His sovereignty.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."
Thankfulness is acknowleding Him---acknowledging His power, His love, His faithfulness, and His plan.
Isaiah 55:8-9 says:
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord, "As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughs your thoughts."
Trust means acknowledging that we don’t understand and being thankful NO MATTER WHAT. Thankfulness is not reliant on a feeling but it’s a choice. Part of that choice is acknowledging that we can’t even be thankful without God’s help, but we can be willing to try. And when we try He gives us the help we need.
It’s not always instantaneous. In fact, it usually requires a lot of pushing through emotional garbage. But God has promised to help us, and He’ll keep His promises.
What are the promises He has given me? Some of my favorites:
Psalm 145:
"The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down....and is loving toward all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him, He hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy."
Psaml 32:8
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will counsel you and watch over you."
Isaiah 48:17
"This is what the Lord says--your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
’I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.
If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river."
There’s a lot more, but I really need to actually get out of bed now and get a move on this day.
"Today is the day the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it!"
Monday, August 25, 2008
Big Enough--Ayeisha Woods
You turned water into wine - how extraordinary
Gave sight to the blind - and still I carry
My own load when you told me
To take your yoke ‘cause yours is easy
And even though my issues seem trivial
You alone are never to imperial
Its just the way that you love me
Its enough to convince me
And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't wanna believe
That you're big enough - but you're big enough yeah!
I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't understand that you're big enough
But you're big enough Jesus!
You turned darkness into light - keep my lamp burning
And you are my everything
There's no denying, your love is so amazing
And even though my problems seem typical
Nothing for you is ever too difficult
You never have reservations - love without limitations
And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't wanna believe
That you're big enough - but you're big enough yeah!
And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't understand
That you're big enough - but you're big enough
Oh, no matter how I try to get around it - I'm reminded
Wherever I go I'm totally surrounded
It's all about you - I can never doubt you
Even if I wanted to…
And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't wanna believe
That you're big enough - but you're big enough yeah!
And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't understand
That you're big enough - but you're big enough
That you're big enough
That you're big enough
That you're big enough
That you're big enough yeah!
Gave sight to the blind - and still I carry
My own load when you told me
To take your yoke ‘cause yours is easy
And even though my issues seem trivial
You alone are never to imperial
Its just the way that you love me
Its enough to convince me
And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't wanna believe
That you're big enough - but you're big enough yeah!
I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't understand that you're big enough
But you're big enough Jesus!
You turned darkness into light - keep my lamp burning
And you are my everything
There's no denying, your love is so amazing
And even though my problems seem typical
Nothing for you is ever too difficult
You never have reservations - love without limitations
And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't wanna believe
That you're big enough - but you're big enough yeah!
And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't understand
That you're big enough - but you're big enough
Oh, no matter how I try to get around it - I'm reminded
Wherever I go I'm totally surrounded
It's all about you - I can never doubt you
Even if I wanted to…
And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't wanna believe
That you're big enough - but you're big enough yeah!
And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't understand
That you're big enough - but you're big enough
That you're big enough
That you're big enough
That you're big enough
That you're big enough yeah!
Zephaniah 3:17
A dear friend wrote this song based on the verse below. I had forgotten about it, until I found it just a minute ago. It hit my heart, because I was feeling particularly sad at the moment. Here it is:
The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior...he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17 (NAS and ESV)
Come to Me, My love
for I'm strong and I'm mighty
Receive from Me, weak one
True rest for your soul
Take My yoke, My love
It’s light and quite pleasant
Receive the grace I give
Find real rest for your soul
(Matthew 11:28-30)
Abide in Me, My love
For I am the true vine
Receive from Me, My branch
Your life and your fruit
Depend on Me, My son
I have already cleansed you
Abide in My great love
From Me comes Your fruit
(John 15:1-5)
Rest in Me, My child
For I am a warrior
Receive from me, small one
the joy that I give
Trust in Me, My love
To fight your battles for you
Allow me in, My joy
to shout songs over you
Come to Me, Rest in Me, Abide in Me, My child
Receive My love, from above, listen as I sing
I am a warrior, who fights your battles for you
I am a warrior, who treads down your foes
I am a warrior, who shouts and sings over you
I am a warrior, who quiets you by My love
Who I am is all that you need
Who I am is all that you need
The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior...he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17 (NAS and ESV)
Come to Me, My love
for I'm strong and I'm mighty
Receive from Me, weak one
True rest for your soul
Take My yoke, My love
It’s light and quite pleasant
Receive the grace I give
Find real rest for your soul
(Matthew 11:28-30)
Abide in Me, My love
For I am the true vine
Receive from Me, My branch
Your life and your fruit
Depend on Me, My son
I have already cleansed you
Abide in My great love
From Me comes Your fruit
(John 15:1-5)
Rest in Me, My child
For I am a warrior
Receive from me, small one
the joy that I give
Trust in Me, My love
To fight your battles for you
Allow me in, My joy
to shout songs over you
Come to Me, Rest in Me, Abide in Me, My child
Receive My love, from above, listen as I sing
I am a warrior, who fights your battles for you
I am a warrior, who treads down your foes
I am a warrior, who shouts and sings over you
I am a warrior, who quiets you by My love
Who I am is all that you need
Who I am is all that you need
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Mighty God
"Blessed are You, Lord God of Israel,
our Father, forever and ever.
Yours, O LORD, is the greatness,
The power and the glory,
The victory and the majesty;
For all that is in heaven and in earth is Yours;
Yours is the kingdom, O LORD,
And You are exalted as head over all.
Both riches and honor come from You
And You reign over all.
In Your hand is power and might;
In Your hand it is to make great
And to give strength to all.
Now therefore, our God,
We thank You
And praise Your glorious name.
But who am I, and who are my people,
That we should be able to offer so willingly as this?
For all things come from You,
And of Your own we have given You.
For we are aliens and pilgrims before You...
O Lord our God, all this abundance that we have prepared to build You a house for Your holy name is from Your hand and is all Your own.
I know also, my God, that You test the heart and have pleasure in uprightness. As for me, in theuprightness of my heart, I have willingly offered all these things; and now with joy I have seen Your people, who are present here to offer willingly to You."
-1 Chronicles 29:11-17
God, how amazing and wonderful it is to offer everything back to You. You have freely given, I will freely give back.
Lord, it is so reassuring to know that provision and wealth do not come from striving, from my own works, or from me at all. No, riches and honor come from You. And I will do my best to honor You with my money, my time, and my life.
God, I trust You.
I don't trust me.
I don't trust my plans.
I don't trust human ambition.
I trust You. And I know that my life is in Your hands. And I know that where I go You will bless...or move me in another direction. You will provide. Also, I believe that You will abundantly provide that I may abundantly give.
I feel like the dreams that You've been putting on my heart and the season that is just around the corner is one of extravagance and abundance: abudant love, provision, and blessing.
I may not see it, understand it, or quite wrap my mind around it, but, God, I believe it!
our Father, forever and ever.
Yours, O LORD, is the greatness,
The power and the glory,
The victory and the majesty;
For all that is in heaven and in earth is Yours;
Yours is the kingdom, O LORD,
And You are exalted as head over all.
Both riches and honor come from You
And You reign over all.
In Your hand is power and might;
In Your hand it is to make great
And to give strength to all.
Now therefore, our God,
We thank You
And praise Your glorious name.
But who am I, and who are my people,
That we should be able to offer so willingly as this?
For all things come from You,
And of Your own we have given You.
For we are aliens and pilgrims before You...
O Lord our God, all this abundance that we have prepared to build You a house for Your holy name is from Your hand and is all Your own.
I know also, my God, that You test the heart and have pleasure in uprightness. As for me, in theuprightness of my heart, I have willingly offered all these things; and now with joy I have seen Your people, who are present here to offer willingly to You."
-1 Chronicles 29:11-17
God, how amazing and wonderful it is to offer everything back to You. You have freely given, I will freely give back.
Lord, it is so reassuring to know that provision and wealth do not come from striving, from my own works, or from me at all. No, riches and honor come from You. And I will do my best to honor You with my money, my time, and my life.
God, I trust You.
I don't trust me.
I don't trust my plans.
I don't trust human ambition.
I trust You. And I know that my life is in Your hands. And I know that where I go You will bless...or move me in another direction. You will provide. Also, I believe that You will abundantly provide that I may abundantly give.
I feel like the dreams that You've been putting on my heart and the season that is just around the corner is one of extravagance and abundance: abudant love, provision, and blessing.
I may not see it, understand it, or quite wrap my mind around it, but, God, I believe it!
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