Sometimes I have imaginary conversations in my head. No, I'm not schizophrenic...though, I think you could safely say I have a tendency to over-analyze things. Tonight, I was thinking a lot about all of the things I would say and all of the things I would do if there were no consequences to my words or actions. I confess there's a part of me that wants so badly to jump off the deep end into a pool of recklessness simply because I'm tired of always saying the right thing (or rather, not saying the wrong thing) always doing the right thing.
And I'm really tired of getting made fun of for choosing the right thing, too, even when it's just playful. I think that's what's really wearying to me. Somewhere in all the teasing and lightheartedness, these subtle (okay, maybe not so subtle) messages are being given:
"It's not really worth it."
"Waiting is overrated."
"Just do what feels good."
"C'mon, just jump into the pool already."
And, if I'm going to be completely honest, there's a part of me that wants so badly to say, "screw it," and do exactly what I want, when I want, and how I want, regardless of the consequences. But, deep down, I can't disregard the consequences. The fact is, I know that jumping into that pool will have both splashes and ripples. And the ripples last long after the splash is gone. Actions will always have consequences. The question is, "what do I want those consequences to be?"
Should I listen to those messages and make decisions based on what I want, when I want it, and how I want it? Here is where I run into a problem--what I want is a matter of the moment, it's a matter of emotion. And Emotion is a really good liar. Not to mention, it's ridiculously finicky. One minute it wants one thing, the next minute it's something different. It's an exhausting game working to please Emotion. A game, that quite honestly, I don't want to play.
This brings me to the other option: making decisions based on Truth. Truth is of a completely different nature than Emotion. You see, Truth is unchanging. Truth is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Emotion will fluctuate up and down and be all over the place, but Truth is solid. Truth will stand long after Emotion has faded. And Truth looks at that pool of recklessness and asks, "Is it really worth it? Are those really the ripples you want." Then Truth takes me by the hand and says:
And suddenly, in the face of Truth, all of Emotion's offers simply aren't as appealing anymore, because I see them for what they are: a bunch of empty emotions...that come with consequences, no less. In essence, one loud splash with a whole lot of ripples.
And I'm really tired of getting made fun of for choosing the right thing, too, even when it's just playful. I think that's what's really wearying to me. Somewhere in all the teasing and lightheartedness, these subtle (okay, maybe not so subtle) messages are being given:
"It's not really worth it."
"Waiting is overrated."
"Just do what feels good."
"C'mon, just jump into the pool already."
And, if I'm going to be completely honest, there's a part of me that wants so badly to say, "screw it," and do exactly what I want, when I want, and how I want, regardless of the consequences. But, deep down, I can't disregard the consequences. The fact is, I know that jumping into that pool will have both splashes and ripples. And the ripples last long after the splash is gone. Actions will always have consequences. The question is, "what do I want those consequences to be?"
Should I listen to those messages and make decisions based on what I want, when I want it, and how I want it? Here is where I run into a problem--what I want is a matter of the moment, it's a matter of emotion. And Emotion is a really good liar. Not to mention, it's ridiculously finicky. One minute it wants one thing, the next minute it's something different. It's an exhausting game working to please Emotion. A game, that quite honestly, I don't want to play.
This brings me to the other option: making decisions based on Truth. Truth is of a completely different nature than Emotion. You see, Truth is unchanging. Truth is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Emotion will fluctuate up and down and be all over the place, but Truth is solid. Truth will stand long after Emotion has faded. And Truth looks at that pool of recklessness and asks, "Is it really worth it? Are those really the ripples you want." Then Truth takes me by the hand and says:
"Remember. Remember why you're here. Remember why you're standing. Remember why you've made the choices you've made. Remember who you serve. Remember why you're waiting. Remember. Remember me."
And suddenly, in the face of Truth, all of Emotion's offers simply aren't as appealing anymore, because I see them for what they are: a bunch of empty emotions...that come with consequences, no less. In essence, one loud splash with a whole lot of ripples.
Today's truth that I'm standing on:
Hebrews 4:14-16
Therefeore since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens--Jesus the Son of God--let us hold fast to the confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tested in every way as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
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