"Make a list of the "perfect you." He said.
I thought this was pretty strange, but God said do it, so I did. I wrote everything...from the ideal job, all the spiritual qualities and gifts, talents, skills, looks...everything. I wrote it and I brought it before the Lord, figuring He’d be impressed by the godly girl I was trying to be.
Then He said to me:
“You were wearied by all your ways,
but you would not say, 'It is hopeless.'
You found renewal of your strength,
and so you did not faint.
"Whom have you so dreaded and feared
that you have been false to me,
and have neither remembered me
nor pondered this in your hearts?
Is it not because I have long been silent
that you do not fear me?
I will expose your righteousness and your works,
and they will not benefit you.
When you cry out for help,
let your collection of idols save you!” (Isaiah 57:10-13)
I was shocked! “What do You mean? Me, idols? I don’t have any idols!!! AND what is wrong with my righteousness!!! I thought I was doing pretty good, if I do say so myself!!!!”
"You foolish, child! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes, Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" (Galatians 3:1-3)
In those moments, God exposed my “idol:” an idol that I was completely blind to. This girl, "perfection," was my god. I loved her. I sought her. I worshiped her.. More than anything, I wanted to be her. But she always eluded me. Every. Single. Time.
I thought I was being spiritual by trying so hard to be holy and perfect. However, holiness isn’t something that can be attained by striving. In fact, all striving does is estrange me from God. Galatians 5: 4 says, “You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace.”
In my pursuit of perfection, I lost sight of Jesus, the only possible way to perfection. God showed me that it’s not about how hard I try, but how much I let Him love me and change me, and how much I learn to love Him, in return.
I thought this was pretty strange, but God said do it, so I did. I wrote everything...from the ideal job, all the spiritual qualities and gifts, talents, skills, looks...everything. I wrote it and I brought it before the Lord, figuring He’d be impressed by the godly girl I was trying to be.
Then He said to me:
“You were wearied by all your ways,
but you would not say, 'It is hopeless.'
You found renewal of your strength,
and so you did not faint.
"Whom have you so dreaded and feared
that you have been false to me,
and have neither remembered me
nor pondered this in your hearts?
Is it not because I have long been silent
that you do not fear me?
I will expose your righteousness and your works,
and they will not benefit you.
When you cry out for help,
let your collection of idols save you!” (Isaiah 57:10-13)
I was shocked! “What do You mean? Me, idols? I don’t have any idols!!! AND what is wrong with my righteousness!!! I thought I was doing pretty good, if I do say so myself!!!!”
"You foolish, child! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes, Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" (Galatians 3:1-3)
In those moments, God exposed my “idol:” an idol that I was completely blind to. This girl, "perfection," was my god. I loved her. I sought her. I worshiped her.. More than anything, I wanted to be her. But she always eluded me. Every. Single. Time.
I thought I was being spiritual by trying so hard to be holy and perfect. However, holiness isn’t something that can be attained by striving. In fact, all striving does is estrange me from God. Galatians 5: 4 says, “You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace.”
In my pursuit of perfection, I lost sight of Jesus, the only possible way to perfection. God showed me that it’s not about how hard I try, but how much I let Him love me and change me, and how much I learn to love Him, in return.
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